$f8f|2-That Bloody
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$fff|2-Doorbell!
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$ffa                            by Freak of NFA

$faaI bought this doorbell right, on account of me not wanting Cheryl down
stairs bein' disturbed at all hours of the night by funny fellas
(although undoubtable some of these fellas would have LOVED to disturb
Cheryl!) calling round to do what we do in our bedroom with a mouse and
hard and floppy things, and I even waited until she'd gone out until I
installed the blasted thing so that my "tap..  tap..  tap..  BUGGER!
tap..  tap..  OUCH!..  tap..  tap.." hammering routine wouldn't be cause
for complaint, I'm THAT considerate.

$affBut what happens?  Well I discover that in trying to save a few quid I
have inadvertedly bought a doorbell that will go off for no apparent
reason, causing me the get out of my bed/chair/bath etc, trot along the
landing and squint out of the glass in the top of the front door, only
to find nobody there, and having to trot back cursing and gibbering to
myself.

$faaSo this is a message to anybody coming to visit.  In order to ensure
that I don't ignore the doorbell, make sure you press it, wait about 5
seconds, press it again, wait, and press once more.  That way I'll know
there's DEFINATELY someone down there, see?  Or you can be like Aladdin
Sane and just lean on the bugger until I come down, the git.

$affThen you can help me by wiping the spittle that drools from the corners
of my mouth, and maybe ease the shaking that I get, all part of some
Pavlovian reaction I'm told, which occurs every time it rings and I'm
sat comfortable, AAAARRRRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!
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|2-OH BUGGER!!







$ffa                         there it goes again...
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end